Unexpected Community

When I first started writing this blog, it was for about 6 friends. They all knew we were starting IVF, and I wanted a way to keep them updated without having to answer any questions about it. I wanted to be in control of what information got shared, and when. I stopped posting updates around the time of beta. I delayed posting about my BFPs, because if we had good news, I wanted to share it in person. If we had bad news, I didn’t want to share it at all. As other people have asked questions about all this, or as I feel compelled to explain to people why I’m carrying syringes in my purse, I send them the link too.

What I didn’t expect, was to find an entire community of like-minded bloggers, sharing their journeys and supporting each other. I’m a part of several online chat groups, several private Facebook groups, and one local group of infertiles who meet up for breakfast/beer (depending on time of day and how many are successfully pregnant at any given time) every few months. It’s really an amazing supportive community.

I’ve always had faith in the internet’s ability to bring people together. It is, after all, how I met my husband. But I never imagined how close I would feel to a group of anonymous women, many who I truly consider friends. Some I will never meet but still reach out and always let me know they are thinking of me. Some I can call up when I’m having a crappy day and they will meet me for margaritas. Never underestimate the therapeutic power of margaritas.

It’s a common theme among the blogs I read, as tonight kicks off IComLeaWe (International Comment Leaving Week) among the Stirrup Queens blogroll. It encourages people to reach out, share in each others’ stories, and leave a few words of support. You never know when a random blogger might turn out to be a true friend.

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8 Responses to Unexpected Community

  1. Cristy says:

    And I glad that, through this community, we had the opportunity to meet. Happy ICLW!!!

  2. unaffected says:

    Thank you for stopping by my blog! I look forward to following you as well 🙂

  3. Theresa says:

    Hi from ICLW

    I never dreamed the community I would find when I started my blog. It was merely a place to vent and keep my sanity intact. Recently a blogger suffered a loss at 22 weeks and you wouldn’t believe the support that flowed from each of these women. It is an amazing, strong and courageous group of women and I am so grateful to have found it.

  4. JustHeather says:

    I’m sure I’ve written a post just like this at some point! I too met my husband online (way back when it was still weird) and I love the women I’ve met online and the ones who’ve even transitioned into face to face friends. The internet and the communities that form are pretty amazing. I’m glad you’ve found ICLW too!

  5. Slynn says:

    Oh I just posted about this amazing community today too! I’m so happy to find some others who can support me and that I can support through this journey.

  6. Emma says:

    Hi! Thank you for stopping by my blog ealier 🙂 It’s so great to have a place to go to where you don’t feel so alone and where you can help others feel less alone as well!

  7. Casey B says:


    I’m finding you for the first time through ICLW, and whilst I’m not a TTC blogger, I can appreciate the point you make about bloggers and friendship.

    Wishing you all the best,


  8. Daryl says:

    I love ICLW! And I love this community. I also met my husband online, and he was the one who encouraged me to start blogging about our infertility and how it was affecting me. I have “met” so many great women in the process. And I’m meeting new ones all the time. It’s amazing how, through something so terrilble, we can find such comfort and community in each other!

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