Not what I expected.

When we embarked on FET #2 I decided it was either going to work and we would get our take home baby, or it would be a BFN from the start. I just wasn’t going to have another chemical pregnancy. It was not an option. But because of our past history, I was afraid to test. I was afraid to see 2 lines, because I know that doesn’t mean anything other than something successfully implanted. I didn’t know if I would be able to stand the wait until Saturday when we would have the blood test.

But I caved, and I tested. I had about 10 HPTs at home, and figured I would just use them all (because as previously mentioned–I have a weird addiction to peeing on sticks). The earliest I tested with our first IVF was 6dp5dt and with our FET it was 7dp5dt (remember the OPK experiement? That was the first day I got a +OPK). And those were both positive. This time I decided, what the heck. I’ll test even earlier, just for fun.

The evening of 4dp5dt there was a very very faint shadow on the HPT. I wouldn’t call it a line, but a negative test is so very stark white, that I knew it was something. And on the morning of 5dp5dt, there were definitely two lines. Faint, but that was a line and not a shadow.

I expected to be nervous. I expected to be anxious. I did not expect to be excited. But I was, and I still am. It doesn’t matter what happens right now. Today I am pregnant, and I’m going to enjoy today. Worrying won’t help, and besides, I’ve already decided that this is going to work.

The waiting game continues though. So how am I doing on my list?

  1. give up caffeine
  2. finish baby gift #1–so close
  3. figure out baby gifts #2 and beyond
  4. submit forms for acupuncture reimbursement–umm… where did I put that form?
  5. plant my garden
  6. finish the two socks I am currently knittingsock #2 is not my favorite
  7. fix the seat cushions for the dining room table
  8. make the shade for the kitchen (ala Pinterest)
  9. organize my recipes and print new cookbook pages
  10. clean the bathroom
  11. find an article for journal club–would you rather hear about metformin as an adjunctive treatment for thyroid cancer or CPAP as a treatment for the metabolic syndrome? Because these are the most interesting articles I can find.
  12. plan next week’s dinners
  13. make something delicious for breakfast one weekend
  14. get a pedicure

Sock #2


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9 Responses to Not what I expected.

  1. Jenny says:

    Congrats on your BFP! I’m glad you’ve decided that this is going to work. 🙂

  2. Cristy says:

    I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. You’re mind-set is why this round is different. And you are right: today you are pregnant. I hope you get a chance to spend some time in the sun and enjoy this good news!

  3. Tami says:

    I agree wholeheartedly with you. Today is a very good day m’dear. A very good day indeed.

  4. Megan says:

    Congratulations!!! I like your attitude about it 🙂

  5. I love hearing that. Yes, today you are pregnant. Congras! I am so excited for you!

  6. Katherine says:

    Congratulations – in addition to your positive attitude, I’m sending my positive vibes your way too! (And for what it’s worth, I would pick the article around thyroid cancer.)

  7. jennabugs says:

    stopping by from the bump (jb2rn) – Congratulations!!!

    as for a journal article (I am a critical care RN), I like the CPAP one 😉

  8. sass says:

    Congrats. I love this post, and your fantastic attitude. Today you are pregnant!!!
    (I’d’ rather hear about CPAP & metabolic syndrome, btw.)

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